No Refund

It has been long since I originally thought of this and thought of a blog.

The idea of this blog came up when the movie Om Shanti Om released and I read about its huge revenue even before it released.

But the first time I heard about refunds in movies was when the movie "hello brother" released. One angry guy outside the theatre said "salman khan ko hamare paise waapas dena chahiye; ghatiya movie..moti heroine". I was in school then and dismissed it as a joke.

After coming to US and seeing returns/refunds accepted for everything including underwears (yeah ..my roomie returned them :D..... hopefully it is not the case with condoms :) ), I thought why is it not the case with movies.

I started thinking of some reasons.

1. I believe returns are encouraged for many goods because, even though one item is returned, something else would be purchased which would replace this item. So in a way the store is still making profits. Also since a store would have many items in slight variations, they can easily stay with this belief and even the customer can choose another one in the same store.

2. Sometimes one or two goods are damaged in a manufacturing line. So if a customer is unlucky to get that one, he can happily replace it with other. This does not cause a great loss to the manufacturer.

Now coming to movies.

As in case 1, I am not sure if some theatre gives you money back, then you would go and see some other movie in the same theatre within few days. Also there would be no om shanti om-2 which probably has slightly different story from the original for people who watched the original and did not like it.

It is possible that if many people did not like the movie say coz it was slow, then the movie could be changed and released with a better screenplay. But then how many of us would go back and buy the ticket to watch that movie again given the torture we would have endured watching version 1.

Though he does not discuss this issue directly, Ram gopal verma in his blog on hit/flop goes a bit around this issue. He suggests that a movie is a individual's way of telling a story. If you do not agree its up to you. Also he talks about the way film industry works. In the sense that director doesnot directly release the movie but the movie is sold to a distributor, then to the theater, so on and so forth. This makes the return policy more complicated :)

Now coming to case 2, one production house can think of doing this is ........ no surprises RGV's factory. They release lotsa movies.. not so high production costs...and i feel some of them suck big time. So if he thinks of refunding customers .... well not a bad idea. :). The only thing is people might buy tickets and just sleep in the movie. Except fro the part when his hot heroines look really hot :) (wazz harm neway money is refunded). This might lead to his refund cost getting higher than production cost.

Standard business principle : If something is selling successfully, keep it going. Don't change it too much as long as people are buying it. This could be seen with some classic designs in clothing. Raulph Lauren stripes, Crocodile Polos etc.

In Films the dude who follows this is............. Shahrukh khan. Doesnot change his same set of constant expressions... ehhhhhhehehehhhhhhhai.. No Doubt people buy it. NO doubt Om Shanti Om's international rights sold for 75 Cr approx (as per reports). No trouble of refunds.

The gentleman who did refund the distributors... RajniKanth. I think he did it for the movie BABA which did not end up making expected collections. Did the distributors refund the movie goers .. hard core fans ? I dont think so.

One not so bad business idea. " The theatre funds the production. Of course the production costs are modest. Anounces a refund policy. Push up the rates of pop corn and soft drinks. People might watch the movie since anyway the tickets can be returned. Mean while the theater could make some profits selling pop corn and soft drinks to those dudes. :)

The Shorter Line

(Year - 1993)

Mom is walking fast to head to my under construction home from the current home.

Me : Mom, walk slow, how come you walk so much faster than me. I am unable to catch up.
Mom: You need to walk fast. I have got no time to walk slow. Run.

(Year - 1995)

Me : The argument you wrote worked out. I won the debate competition.
Mom: Ya, next time you will write it totally on your own.

so on and on and on...

(Year - 2004)
By this time, I was 19, finished GRE, almost finished Bachelors.

Me and my mom walking.

Me : Mom, you gotta walk faster or else we will be late. How come you are walking so slow?
Mom: (A look which says 'Oh yeah.. look who is talking').

Me : (Using lotsa jargon.. wierd words! .. just finished GRE right :) )
Mom : What does that word mean?
Me : What happened to your english these days. You were good some years back.

Now she is reached peaks of being pissed off and then asked the QUESTION
How do you make a line shorter without using an eraser?
Me: Tear half the page off
Mom: Bachelors made you more stupid. Did it not?
Me: Cover half the line with hand ... hahahah
Mom: Ohhh.. my..God..............
Me: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

I was kind of thinking when she called a time up and said
"Draw a longer line next to it. It will make the original line shorter" she said and she had a laugh.

Not going into the technical and grammatical details of it, the point she was trying to make was that she is as good today as she was some years earlier, except for the fact that I have become a longer line compared to her.

I hate writing gyaan points but I realized that parents are always smarter in some way than us kids :) ..why not they would see us grow and learn all this in addition to what they learnt. And of course a teacher's/ parent's pride always lies in watching kids grow smarter and better than them.

Its not about writing senti stuff, but wanted to write a blog to thank my mom for coming to my graduation. It was a great vacation trying to make fun of each other using silly riddles like the aforementioned one.

THE MS POEM

The following is just an attempt to put some funny or worth remembering experiences of mine in Masters and to include names of some good friends and class mates. I hope you have fun.

Packed was my luggage
I was Ready to check in my baggage
In the airport no melodrama
Said before leaving home my sister rama (read it ramaa)
We will chat daily don't worry
Said waving a good bye my mom sundari (read it sundary)
You are going to pursue masters dont look sad
Trying to cheer me up this was my dad
After landing to buy something if u need money
Dont hesitate, call me said my other sister srimani (read it srimanee)

(Now the plane left india and reaching US)
After landing who is going to pick me at the other shore
I will arrange it said India club's Kishore
My flight is reaching late would anyone show up,
Don't worry, there is ever helpful Somu to pick you up.
Need to hunt an apartment have to run door to door
I found one just move in, said Sumedha Uppnor
Tired teaching roomies how to cook was the Biryani Savanth
Ravi Sheshu is learning quick though commented Ananth

In UA projects are long and tuff, the hell ya
Firing the first words of caution this is Sahitya
I was one of the first ones to get an assistantship
With courses and RA then started the hardship
Looking at him work so much, I thought only coding was his karma
Yes I am talking about the ever working Ravi Sharma
we will finish the project don't worry ravi
6 Hours away from deadline this is supercool Pallavi

Not even a month into it and his patience did vanish
Stuck in a business school RA, this is the systems guy Manish
Be careful in US never drive rash
A lesson learnt after the accident of Avinash
Got a license and drove to the temple in Maricopa
Accompanying me were Nikesh, Tarun, swapna and Lopa
With Deloitte Offer we got a Bag, Candies and a Starbucks Card,
Natashaz and my efforts finally bore reward.

To find a Job in NY, a little tuff time I was havin
You will make it to bloomberg, don't worry said bhavin
Last sem also 3 courses, there goes relentless Anurag,
Got Stuck unwantedly in SIE course, poor guy Parag
During Interview prep struggled with Parallel Programming techneek
finally got it, thanks to karthik the geek.
First discussed interviews, now about our jobs we brag
Having coffee after sleeping in PPL class, myself and Pa'rag
Worked in Microsoft, wanted to be a part of Mr.Gates' entourage
Made other choices , Now it is upto Poorna, Natasha and Woj
Anurag filled his transcript with infinte courses,
VMware said enough, now come fill your bourses

Dude Its a bit long and exciting run just be ready,
Now that I am almost done, giving gyaan to Sushanth Reddy

Thank God I have a job and in future would also have a wife
But one thing I would definetly miss is the most exciting student life :)

If your name does not rhyme well
Pardon me, do not curse me to hell
In the given frame of time
I could not find a word which does rime (another spelling for rhyme)

Finally a nice poem in hindi by sumitranad pant about meeting and leaving.

Yeh Saanj usha ka aangan
aalingan virah milan ka
chir haas asrmay aanan
rey is manav jeevan ka

Have fun.

Please feel free to suggest me better rhyming words/phrases. I would be more than happy to include them. Parag, the other day you had a interesting shayari. Please Leave it as a comment.

Tagged!

1. Last movie you saw in a theater?
The Great Debaters. Its a good movie with some great action and direction added with perfection
(dialogue courtesy : http://youtube.com/watch?v=ssjRGx4W5XI ). Its one of those movies where a main point is made in a subtle manner.

2. What book are you reading
Trying to read some but not reading any.

3. Favorite board game?
Business, some ppl call it monopoly. Used to play it like mad. Finally when I go the board myself lost interest to play.

4. Favorite magazine?
Had one called Indian Management. Had not been reading that off late.

5. Favorite smells?
Slightly pungent perfumes and the smell of my mom cooking spicy andhra (my state in India) dishes.

6. Favorite sounds?
That of a train's Horn.

7. Worst feeling in the world?
Feeling like peeing urgently but unable to find a toilet in reach or the flight on the runway and not taking off and air hostess not letting me use the toilet.

8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
About what replies or emails I would have got :).

9. Favorite fast food place?
Gokul Chat in hyderabad. It has awesome chat, pani puri, and all the chatpata stuff one can imagine.

10. Future child’s name?
If its a guy would name him "Ravi Sheshu Jackie Chan Arnold Richie Rich Jet Li Sachin Razor
centurion Johhny Quest" all that is one name a bit long like my name.

If its a girl I would spare her with Mrinalini.

11. Finish this statement. “If I had lot of money I’d….?”
Travel around Africa and Afghanistan with a army of secruity guards around me.

12. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
NO

13. Storms - cool or scary?
Cool.

14. Favorite drink?
Coke

15. Finish this statement, “If I had the time I would….”?
Read all the news in the world.

16. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
Yes, I feel the stem of broccoli is the better part of it.

17. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
Mwhahahhahahahah....... BLACK BLACK the could can be pulled out.

18. Name all the different cities/towns you’ve lived in?
T.. A... N... U.. K... U.. TANUKU, Jamshedpur, Vijayawada, Hyderabad, Tucson, Kansas City

19. Favorite sports to watch?
If it includes games Cricket, Tennis, Football , WWE in sports Pole jump.

20. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you?
Natahsa is a good friend and has amazing friends like Ravi Sheshu who is cool ...... (all adjectives as appropriate good ones).

21. What’s under your bed?
I pulled out the stand under my bed so therz nuthin but carpet.

22. Would you like to be born as yourself again?
Of course ...... would recommend same parents as now to GOD but with a request for a shorter name so that it eases my pain in filling forms.

23. Morning person, or night owl?
NIGHT OWL

24. Over easy, or sunny side up?
What does this mean.

25. Favorite place to relax?
Now dont laugh at this ....thought would be candid. Its the LOO (not the ones which stink.. the loo in my home). It DOES NOT mean I go there whenever I am tired.

26. Favorite pie?
choclate chip caramel pie.

27. Favorite ice cream flavor?
Butter Scotch, Cassata and anything other than choclate and mint in Gelato

28. Of all the people you tagged this to, who’s most likely to respond first?
Almost everyone i know who blogs already got tagged so might be dots connect and dreamy eyed.

Reverse Gear (Banter)

Well the title says it to some extent..... Not serious stuff in this

The idea came when I was sitting in one of the flights in Tucson Airport leaving for an onsite interview.

The announcement : "AAhhhh...we are waiting for the TUG to push us back ..once that happens we are clear for departure ..."

For the impatient guy I was I could not wait and I thought why does not a plane have a reverse gear?
(My friend who was overlooking my shoulder said "coz the pilot does not have a rear view mirror :D")
Now I told you I am going to an interview and the book in my hand was Programming interviews exposed which means I would attack this problem "STEP BY STEP " mwhahahahhah

First when I mean reverse gear do i mean the reverse gear while taxiing on the land or while flying?

On Land :Well the only reverse we see in a plane is when it is on land. So to understand why there is no reverse gear we first need to know how it goes forward.
After some discussions with my mechie roommates and reading, I figured out that an aeroplane's tires are not rotated by an axel(or drive shaft to be terminologically correct) powered by an engine(like in a car). Instead the wheels are just like hotwheels :D and the plane moves forward coz of the thrust generated by the jet engines(even on the ground yes). So to go back the plane would need a mechanism to turn the engines in the reverse or to generate thrust in the reverse direction. This would cost (probably) much more than the purpose it serves. So instead the job is done by a TUG.

While Flying: Now to do a reverse the vehicle needs to come to a complete stop and then take a reverse. If a plane is stopped in flight i dunno about reverse but it is going to fall for sure. And instead of investing in a mechanism to keep it from falling when it stops mid-air and then a mechanism for reverse, it is cheaper to take a U-turn which areoplanes do.

Now all these might be worth the investment if we were in JETSONS age wherein there are traffic signals and lots of congestion even in air/space. Till then impatient people like me have no option but to wait for the TUG to push back. :)